Satan, an angel fallen down,
He does not understand the righteous crown,
Lucifer is blind and cannot see,
Even the firm elegance of a wintry Oak tree.
The devil's luring hands are tightly tied,
He sneaks in the back way, only to run and hide.
He tries to fetter our lowly hands,
But cannot fathom how tall God stands.
The devil, true prince of disaster,
He sees not the plan of our Master,
Yes, the devil is blind and cannot see,
So run fast and far from him - let him be.
Seek the Lord with all your might,
Love the Lord and do what's right,
Relish Lord Jesus and drop to your knees,
God is here and always sees.
Inspired by a sermon of Dr. Edward Moody - "God's Remarkable Plan" - evil cannot comprehend good.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A Multitude of Right
My Master, use me to full extent,
You have brought your wrath, and now I repent.
My God, my Father, cease the curse on my head,
I pray to you, my King, my sins will I shed.
With thanksgiving I raise my humbled eyes,
With prayer and supplication, hear my cries,
Give me a peace surpassing all understanding,
It is to you, Prince of Peace, my heart I am handing.
Pitiful and unworthy to receive your Grace,
I should be seeking cover to hide my face,
But I know the difference forgiveness can make,
My redeemer keeps me from the sulfur lake.
Give me courage in an incorrigible world we walk,
Let us spring forward like the most fertile stalk,
I will seek You, my friend, my confidant,
Lest Satan entangle me and all my days haunt.
Let us not slip into apostasy, my King,
Good will toward all people with boldness I bring,
I cry for You, yearn for you, relish the light,
I pray I can hand You a multitude of right.
Inspired by Philippians 4:4-8
You have brought your wrath, and now I repent.
My God, my Father, cease the curse on my head,
I pray to you, my King, my sins will I shed.
With thanksgiving I raise my humbled eyes,
With prayer and supplication, hear my cries,
Give me a peace surpassing all understanding,
It is to you, Prince of Peace, my heart I am handing.
Pitiful and unworthy to receive your Grace,
I should be seeking cover to hide my face,
But I know the difference forgiveness can make,
My redeemer keeps me from the sulfur lake.
Give me courage in an incorrigible world we walk,
Let us spring forward like the most fertile stalk,
I will seek You, my friend, my confidant,
Lest Satan entangle me and all my days haunt.
Let us not slip into apostasy, my King,
Good will toward all people with boldness I bring,
I cry for You, yearn for you, relish the light,
I pray I can hand You a multitude of right.
Inspired by Philippians 4:4-8
My Heart I Bring
Oh Lord, my only God,
King of kings,
Lord of lords,
Give me your nod!
Through grace you save,
With eternal dominion,
And eternal Holiness,
It is you, My God, I crave.
I await my Savior,
Come Lord Jesus Christ,
Let me worship you forever,
And pray the truth by my labor.
I await you my King,
Oh how I long for your presence,
Beyond my human understanding,
It is my heart I bring.
AMEN
King of kings,
Lord of lords,
Give me your nod!
Through grace you save,
With eternal dominion,
And eternal Holiness,
It is you, My God, I crave.
I await my Savior,
Come Lord Jesus Christ,
Let me worship you forever,
And pray the truth by my labor.
I await you my King,
Oh how I long for your presence,
Beyond my human understanding,
It is my heart I bring.
AMEN
The Rest of My Days
Your thoughts are not my thoughts,
I am your humbled servant,
Your ways are not my ways,
In your hands my strength is fervant.
On mighty one! Hear my words,
I write with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving,
For iniquity is a constant tug,
And I beg to join the enternal ranks of the living.
How is it you are pure love, my Lord,
That you may forgive even me, the most wretched,
You sent your only son to die,
To make us all your most blessed.
Your thoughts are not my thoughts,
And your ways are not my ways,
I am cursed on Earth in my flesh,
But forgiven all the rest of my days.
I am your humbled servant,
Your ways are not my ways,
In your hands my strength is fervant.
On mighty one! Hear my words,
I write with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving,
For iniquity is a constant tug,
And I beg to join the enternal ranks of the living.
How is it you are pure love, my Lord,
That you may forgive even me, the most wretched,
You sent your only son to die,
To make us all your most blessed.
Your thoughts are not my thoughts,
And your ways are not my ways,
I am cursed on Earth in my flesh,
But forgiven all the rest of my days.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Out of Control Child Support Agencies
Disenfranchised Dads in Johnston County and the Tearing Down of Families – A Contributing Factor to our Struggling Economy
An Editorial
by
Jerry Lynn Grugin, Jr.
jerry.grugin@att.net
11/21/08
As I write this editorial, I am sitting in a house with almost no furniture. The house itself is in question because I am more than a month behind on the mortgage. My truck will be repossessed soon. There have been times from August until now where I literally have had no food on my shelf (I have lost over 20 pounds), but somehow I have still provided food for my children when they come. For the first time in my life, I visited the foodbank in Raleigh because I had no food. I have sold just about everything I have on Craig’s List and to the pawn shops just to have gas to get to work, and to occasionally do something special for my three boys, like getting them a hotdog at the Percy Flowers store in Johnston County. Since August 11, I have run out of gas 4 times while driving on the road. One of those times, I had my son with me. I am, indeed, a humbled man. I have fallen and fallen hard, and I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and disenfranchised – without a voice. I have nothing left except the weekly visits from my children and my belief in God, and even some of my childrens’ visits are now becoming questionable because of threats not to let me see my kids. I feel totally powerless, helpless, and disenfranchised because nothing I have attempted has put me in a better position to be able to support my kids, let alone survive myself. I feel like society has abandoned me, a loving and caring father, who has always been involved in the life of his kids. In fact, I feel beaten down, trampled upon, and tortured by the child support agency and the court system. The only thing keeping me going is my faith in God and my longing to see my kids. Threats have been made recently by various parties not to let me see my kids. If my kids are taken away, I will indeed have nothing left, nothing that is, except a resilient faith. If it sounds like I am very angry, well………I AM! I have shed many, many tears during the last 11 months.
I work! I have worked hard all my life. I have always striven to improve myself. I have a Master of Science in Criminal Justice, but have accepted a job working for a security company in Raleigh for $10.00 an hour because I can find nothing else right now. I am looking for a better job so I can give my children more. All who know me will tell you I have a heart of gold and will give you the shirt off my back if you needed it, even when I do not have anything.
I did not want a divorce. I tried to save my marriage. My family traveled here to stay with my soon-to-be ex-wife and me to help try to save my marriage. My wife vehemently resisted this offer saying it would do no good to try to save the marriage. I gave my wife everything she wanted. I worked two or three jobs at a time, working long hours. We were at the point where finances would not have been a big problem in another 2 to 5 years. Then came the shocker. She wanted a divorce.
I am still grieving for my marriage. It hurts me deeply to see my kids and how they have reacted to this. My kids see the disempowerment of their Dad. My soon-to-be ex recently told me on the telephone, “I don’t know why you are trying to fight me because you will loose every time.” The truth of the matter is she may be right because no matter how good of a person I may be, or how good of a father I am, or no matter how hard I have worked, nothing matters because all humanity has been taken out of the court system. That hurts and it is humbling. I have been humbled in so many ways I cannot count them. Recently, I received a notice the child support agency was going to try to intercept my future tax refund checks. In the same letter, they said they would be denying any Visa to travel to another country (not that I want to go to another country, but it is the principal of the matter). For a person who already is on the verge of homelessness, despite a lack of trying, this type of news is devastating. It seems I am receiving letters from the child support agency weekly. I have family who has helped me, but they are out of money and have been out thousands of dollars for court expenses, travel expenses. All this money, time, and expense has been for naught because I am worse off now than before – much worse off.
Now, I face the prospect of jail again and I am having a hard time fathoming why a person like me is facing jail time. Child support is already being garnished from my check. I just am not making enough money right now to pay what the courts say I should pay. It is unbelievable. It is tragic. It is not right. Moreover, for all the correspondence the child support agency seems to want to have with me, not one time has it ever been offered to help me find a better job. There are resources to tear down a father, but not build him up. Where are the fathers’ rights? Shouldn’t fathers with children be given preference with jobs. Other classes and types of people are! Fathers are not. I am a case study for abuse by the Johnston County Child Support Agency. I wonder what kind of retaliation I will face in court for writing this editorial.
Worse, I believe the current child support agency has become something for which it was not created. There is a need for a child support agency. I never in my life thought it would be used against me. After all that I have done for my family, it is unfathomable. I really just cannot believe what has happened. Further, all humanity has been taken out of the court system and the child support agency. The bottom line for them is money. Money is important, but it is not the only thing that makes people who they are. The mere presence of a father can sometimes mean the difference between kids who excel and kids who fail time after time after time. It seems, though, that with the tearing down by a father by the court system and child support agency, my children will have plenty of excuses to fail, despite my sincere and honest efforts.
And to the other good fathers out there who have literally been ripped apart by the Johnston County Child Support agency and by the court system- I tell you that you are not alone. To the fathers that are not trying, I say go after them. Nevertheless, there has to be humanity placed back in the system, and there has to be resources devoted to helping struggling fathers who are really trying to regain their footing. Right now, those resources do not exist. Until these resources are created, families will continue to be torn further apart than they have to be, and I will be continue to be disenfranchised, and I will face any future jail time with honor and integrity. This is the greatest country the world has ever known. Why are people letting the beauracracy of the child support agencies and the court system continue to tear families apart, thereby ripping the very fabric of our nation. There has to be a balance. Fathers have rights too. The court system has swung too far one way.
As I write this editorial, my ex-wife is running wild, attempting to relive her past. I am not. My ex-wife does not have to account for what she does with any monies she gets from me. I have to account for every single penny I make. The courts do not take into account why marriages fail. Right now, my ex-wife will not even work with me if there is a change in my schedule. Instead, I have had to loose money that could have been used to pay for more child support. As I write this, she is attending some type of function with a ticket that cost $100.00 and I could have been working making $80.00 this evening. There could have been a total savings of $180.00. The court system and child support agency has been so much in her favor, she is now shirking her moral responsibilities to me and her children. This is what happens when power is abused. These are things the court does not want to hear about. It has been made vehemently clear to me. My only other alternative is to try to make the public know what is going on. Who is the real victim here? Exactly who is benefiting from the garnishment of my wages. I can guarantee you that in my case it is not my children, buy my ex-wife and her alone who is benefiting. A good test of my last statement is would she have to work any harder with no money coming from me. The answer is “NO.” The kids would be fine.
It is time for the pendulum to swing the other way. Many other men in Johnston County are in a similar situation. I am the one who has the courage to write about it. I hope other people have the courage to write about it and I hope the state intercedes on what has become so evidently and catastrophically wrong. I am making it my mission to write about this travesty as much as I can possibly do and to make everyone aware what has been unjustly done to me and other pesons through what has become an out-of-control, politically correct bureaucracy with no humanity. I will stand up for myself. When I place my hands on that Bible in the court system yet once again, I will do so with honor and integrity, knowing I have done all I can for myself and my kids up to that point. It seems that what is right has become wrong and what is wrong has become right. In my case, the truth has been twisted. In the Bible, there is a saying that goes like this….”Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” My attempt to tell the truth through the medium of this newspaper may not set me free, but may very well land me in jail. I do not care, though! It is the right thing to do. I have been backed into a corner. I want to hear from other fathers in Johnston County. I want to know your tragic stories. Mine is truly a tragically upsetting story. I pray that God, through Christ Jesus, will help us all.
An Editorial
by
Jerry Lynn Grugin, Jr.
jerry.grugin@att.net
11/21/08
As I write this editorial, I am sitting in a house with almost no furniture. The house itself is in question because I am more than a month behind on the mortgage. My truck will be repossessed soon. There have been times from August until now where I literally have had no food on my shelf (I have lost over 20 pounds), but somehow I have still provided food for my children when they come. For the first time in my life, I visited the foodbank in Raleigh because I had no food. I have sold just about everything I have on Craig’s List and to the pawn shops just to have gas to get to work, and to occasionally do something special for my three boys, like getting them a hotdog at the Percy Flowers store in Johnston County. Since August 11, I have run out of gas 4 times while driving on the road. One of those times, I had my son with me. I am, indeed, a humbled man. I have fallen and fallen hard, and I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and disenfranchised – without a voice. I have nothing left except the weekly visits from my children and my belief in God, and even some of my childrens’ visits are now becoming questionable because of threats not to let me see my kids. I feel totally powerless, helpless, and disenfranchised because nothing I have attempted has put me in a better position to be able to support my kids, let alone survive myself. I feel like society has abandoned me, a loving and caring father, who has always been involved in the life of his kids. In fact, I feel beaten down, trampled upon, and tortured by the child support agency and the court system. The only thing keeping me going is my faith in God and my longing to see my kids. Threats have been made recently by various parties not to let me see my kids. If my kids are taken away, I will indeed have nothing left, nothing that is, except a resilient faith. If it sounds like I am very angry, well………I AM! I have shed many, many tears during the last 11 months.
I work! I have worked hard all my life. I have always striven to improve myself. I have a Master of Science in Criminal Justice, but have accepted a job working for a security company in Raleigh for $10.00 an hour because I can find nothing else right now. I am looking for a better job so I can give my children more. All who know me will tell you I have a heart of gold and will give you the shirt off my back if you needed it, even when I do not have anything.
I did not want a divorce. I tried to save my marriage. My family traveled here to stay with my soon-to-be ex-wife and me to help try to save my marriage. My wife vehemently resisted this offer saying it would do no good to try to save the marriage. I gave my wife everything she wanted. I worked two or three jobs at a time, working long hours. We were at the point where finances would not have been a big problem in another 2 to 5 years. Then came the shocker. She wanted a divorce.
I am still grieving for my marriage. It hurts me deeply to see my kids and how they have reacted to this. My kids see the disempowerment of their Dad. My soon-to-be ex recently told me on the telephone, “I don’t know why you are trying to fight me because you will loose every time.” The truth of the matter is she may be right because no matter how good of a person I may be, or how good of a father I am, or no matter how hard I have worked, nothing matters because all humanity has been taken out of the court system. That hurts and it is humbling. I have been humbled in so many ways I cannot count them. Recently, I received a notice the child support agency was going to try to intercept my future tax refund checks. In the same letter, they said they would be denying any Visa to travel to another country (not that I want to go to another country, but it is the principal of the matter). For a person who already is on the verge of homelessness, despite a lack of trying, this type of news is devastating. It seems I am receiving letters from the child support agency weekly. I have family who has helped me, but they are out of money and have been out thousands of dollars for court expenses, travel expenses. All this money, time, and expense has been for naught because I am worse off now than before – much worse off.
Now, I face the prospect of jail again and I am having a hard time fathoming why a person like me is facing jail time. Child support is already being garnished from my check. I just am not making enough money right now to pay what the courts say I should pay. It is unbelievable. It is tragic. It is not right. Moreover, for all the correspondence the child support agency seems to want to have with me, not one time has it ever been offered to help me find a better job. There are resources to tear down a father, but not build him up. Where are the fathers’ rights? Shouldn’t fathers with children be given preference with jobs. Other classes and types of people are! Fathers are not. I am a case study for abuse by the Johnston County Child Support Agency. I wonder what kind of retaliation I will face in court for writing this editorial.
Worse, I believe the current child support agency has become something for which it was not created. There is a need for a child support agency. I never in my life thought it would be used against me. After all that I have done for my family, it is unfathomable. I really just cannot believe what has happened. Further, all humanity has been taken out of the court system and the child support agency. The bottom line for them is money. Money is important, but it is not the only thing that makes people who they are. The mere presence of a father can sometimes mean the difference between kids who excel and kids who fail time after time after time. It seems, though, that with the tearing down by a father by the court system and child support agency, my children will have plenty of excuses to fail, despite my sincere and honest efforts.
And to the other good fathers out there who have literally been ripped apart by the Johnston County Child Support agency and by the court system- I tell you that you are not alone. To the fathers that are not trying, I say go after them. Nevertheless, there has to be humanity placed back in the system, and there has to be resources devoted to helping struggling fathers who are really trying to regain their footing. Right now, those resources do not exist. Until these resources are created, families will continue to be torn further apart than they have to be, and I will be continue to be disenfranchised, and I will face any future jail time with honor and integrity. This is the greatest country the world has ever known. Why are people letting the beauracracy of the child support agencies and the court system continue to tear families apart, thereby ripping the very fabric of our nation. There has to be a balance. Fathers have rights too. The court system has swung too far one way.
As I write this editorial, my ex-wife is running wild, attempting to relive her past. I am not. My ex-wife does not have to account for what she does with any monies she gets from me. I have to account for every single penny I make. The courts do not take into account why marriages fail. Right now, my ex-wife will not even work with me if there is a change in my schedule. Instead, I have had to loose money that could have been used to pay for more child support. As I write this, she is attending some type of function with a ticket that cost $100.00 and I could have been working making $80.00 this evening. There could have been a total savings of $180.00. The court system and child support agency has been so much in her favor, she is now shirking her moral responsibilities to me and her children. This is what happens when power is abused. These are things the court does not want to hear about. It has been made vehemently clear to me. My only other alternative is to try to make the public know what is going on. Who is the real victim here? Exactly who is benefiting from the garnishment of my wages. I can guarantee you that in my case it is not my children, buy my ex-wife and her alone who is benefiting. A good test of my last statement is would she have to work any harder with no money coming from me. The answer is “NO.” The kids would be fine.
It is time for the pendulum to swing the other way. Many other men in Johnston County are in a similar situation. I am the one who has the courage to write about it. I hope other people have the courage to write about it and I hope the state intercedes on what has become so evidently and catastrophically wrong. I am making it my mission to write about this travesty as much as I can possibly do and to make everyone aware what has been unjustly done to me and other pesons through what has become an out-of-control, politically correct bureaucracy with no humanity. I will stand up for myself. When I place my hands on that Bible in the court system yet once again, I will do so with honor and integrity, knowing I have done all I can for myself and my kids up to that point. It seems that what is right has become wrong and what is wrong has become right. In my case, the truth has been twisted. In the Bible, there is a saying that goes like this….”Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” My attempt to tell the truth through the medium of this newspaper may not set me free, but may very well land me in jail. I do not care, though! It is the right thing to do. I have been backed into a corner. I want to hear from other fathers in Johnston County. I want to know your tragic stories. Mine is truly a tragically upsetting story. I pray that God, through Christ Jesus, will help us all.
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